Understand the meaning of being WOKE - My Version.
Being WOKE has been widely misunderstood and misrepresented over the last 9 years. At around 6am on the 18th of August 2013, an Australian cosmetic salesperson named Karen was on vacation in the seaside town of Selsey in West Sussex, England.
It was this morning whilst on holidays that Karen became the first person to ever wake up one morning and then start behaving in a manner that would now be considered as Full On WOKE, which would later be known as WOKE AF.
According to a source close to Karen’s greengrocer back in Australia, she took offence at two teenage former Billinghurst Football Club supporters arguing over whether it was better to have a black or white BMW M3.
How did a Karen initiate WOKEness?
Karen informed these two inebriated individuals that their argument was very offensive and that they should never suggest that the colour of any item or being is more desired or appreciated than another.
Karen was also quick to point out that neither black nor white are actual colours, but rather shades that augment colours, and that they should do extensive research on their topics before making a fool of themselves in public.
How did the WOKE Movement Begin?
Although Karen was never seen again after her first public outburst, her historic action has lived on for many years since.
Several coffee shop patrons witnessed this somewhat strange but monumental event. These coffee aficionados were intrigued about how a complete stranger felt the need to publicly correct other people and comment on their lives with little to no regard for their own safety.
Within days began a movement of Wilting Offensiveness & Kick-starting Entitlement (WOKE) and this spread across Europe at an alarming rate.
The WOKE movement naturally then moved to North America and Canada where around 360 million people were available for correction.
How was WOKEness politicised?
The WOKE movement unfortunately made its way to Australia and this is where it was embraced the most and soon found its way into politics.
WOKEness was able to manifest and intensify deep within the troubled minds of politicians involved with an obscure Australian political party.
The WOKE Arising Founders (WOKE AF) are deeply disappointed that the true meaning of being WOKE has been lost over the last 9 years, and they are desperately attempting to separate being WOKE from being political.
They actually find it offensive that any political party would seek to hijack being WOKE from them and are now seeking advice on how to prevent politicians from saying anything WOKE in public.
How can I be WOKE, what is required?
According to the WOKE AF crowd, being WOKE is all about finding offence in the smallest of situations and exaggerating it to the point of probably causing emotional or spiritual harm to yourself or others.
They are disgusted to see politicians and environmental activists attempting to use being WOKE to prevent nuclear reactors being built or the burning of coal and/or natural gas for power generation.
According to the WOKE AF senior spokesperson, being WOKE has nothing to do with politics, the planet or its resources.
Being WOKE is rather all about making sure that every publicly made comment or discussion, Movie, TV Show and news article is checked for its WOKE based correctness and modified where required.
Sources close to the WOKE AF team would like to remind people that if they would like to be WOKE, it’s as simple as walking around a shopping centre/mall and find two or more people having an emotionally charged discussion about something that could possibly be offensive.
You then inject yourself into their discussion, escalating the drama, creating havoc, flaring tempers and making sure the problem ends up big enough for become the opening story on the 6 o’clock news.
What has gone wrong with the WOKE movement?
It has been revealed that the senior WOKE AF people who are still alive have requested that being WOKE should be limited to upper middle class people that are partially educated and between the ages of 23 to 39.
They don’t believe that 40+ WOKE wannabes with double degrees in political science and art history are even capable of being WOKE in its purest form.
The WOKE AF elite believe that being WOKE did not begin as a joke, but it has unfortunately become one of the most prolific sources of jokes in existence, losing most, if not all, of its original meaning.
Being WOKE or ‘Being a Karen’ is not for everyone according to the WOKE AF elite and their main wish for the future is that certain types of people will stop trying as they are damaging the WOKE brand.
15 Tips to Avoid Becoming overly WOKE or Full-On WOKE.
1. Question everything you see on social media, especially from influencers. Think critically and form your own rational opinions on how to live your life.
2. Embrace intellectual humility and recognize that you don’t know everything and be open to learning from others.
3. Avoid the urge to correct people in casual conversations unless it’s truly necessary but the as one likes a know-it-all, it will never be truly necessary, so just don’t do it.
4. Develop your own unique Non-WOKE interests and hobbies, rather than blindly following trends.
5. Surround yourself with rational thinking people who challenge hive style thinking and think it might actually be possible to achieve personal growth without the assistance of a social media influencer.
6. Read books and articles from diverse perspectives to broaden your understanding of the world.
7. Practice active listening and seek to understand others’ viewpoints before offering your own but still always remember to never offer your opinion if it over 0.009% WOKE.
8. Cultivate a sense of humour and don’t take yourself or anyone else in the world too seriously, it is ok to laugh and have fun sometimes. WOKEness has cultivated a culture of closet or basement based laughter and this is not ok.
9. Embrace your quirks and individuality as well as that of others, rather than conforming to societal norms. Don’t waste precious oxygen by worrying about other peoples inability to laugh and be happy, that’s there problem, not yours.
10. Stay curious and ask questions, rather than assuming you have all the answers as you most certainly do not, please do not ever forget this.
11. Admit when you’re wrong and understand you will probably be wrong most of the time. Nobody expects you to know everything, so don’t be upset when you don’t. Being a normal human is a sign of likeability and strength, not weakness.
12. Engage in activities that challenge your mind and encourage critical thinking.
13. Be mindful of your tone and body language when sharing your knowledge (which you should refrain from anyway), to avoid coming across as condescending and everyone wishing to walk away from you in great haste.
14. Remember that true wisdom comes from a lifetime of learning and experience, not from social media snippets and especially 1 minute videos of people just trying to get views and make money.
15. Embrace the joy of personal growth and self-discovery, rather than clinging to a fixed identity.
What To Do If You Have Self Appointed as WOKE AF.
In recent years, the term ‘Woke AF’ has emerged as a cultural marker, denoting a heightened and almost unsustainable level of ultra-wokness and the 1 step if is past being full on woke.
For my mind, being ‘woke’ has generally referred to being a world authority on every current and potentially conceivable social injustice issue and being the only person on the planet that knows how to address them.
Being fully woke was where you’ve decided to drop everything else going on in your life and fully dedicate your existence on this planet to making sure that everyone on the planet understands just how committed/full on woke you are.
The Woke AF status is where you’ve appointed yourself to a theoretical status that you feel exists beyond being Fully WOKE.
It’s where you’ve decided that you now have the attained a higher level of consciousness and now posses ultra abilities that nobody else on the planet could even contemplate.
In this heightened level of WOKE AF existence, you’re able to telepathically impose your will upon everyone on the planet by just thinking about what you require all 7.7 billion inhabitants of the planet to do.
You will naturally make sure that your will has been absorbed by everyone by taking to social media and writing emails to purely confirm that you’ve decided on a new strategy for the world.
You’ll just making sure that everyone understands their role in the new world and that they cannot afford to delay in doing as you require.
WOKE AF is an amazing new self appointed theoretical status and it certainly does take things to a new intensified degree of being unbelievably awesome.
Those who have been self selected to rise above all others and lead the way to the new world will often experience a significantly new lifestyle.
As the world takes time to adapt to your new status, they may lash out and potentially not agree with your every thought or communication.
As important as it may have been for you to ascend to the new level of WOKENESS you’ve invented mentally, being the best at being right about everything will not be without its challenges.
One unfortunate by-product making sure the whole world knows of your new status is that it could potentially affect your personal finance realm.
As you will no longer have time to work a normal job, you may not have any income as you’ll be far too busy making sure everyone on earth clearly understands every thought you have about everything.
Try not to let this hold you back unless you completely go broke. There is always a chance that you are indeed the only earth based human that actually knows what to do and the rest of the world are wrong.
If it does turn out that you are the one and only super, duper ultra WOKE AF human, then surely the entire world will bend a knee and give you wealth beyond mere mortal comprehension.
Getting membership to the new organisation called, “The Rational Thinking Humans Organisation” is a way of avoiding overly woke lives.
Their mission statement is to prevent humans from becoming more than 1% WOKE at all costs.
WOKEness can trigger episodes of ‘Not Even Close To Being Relevant Syndrome’, which stifles intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness, and personal authenticity, these are all qualities we need for fulfilling and well-rounded life.
2 important points to be observed for WOKE trainees
Anyone reading this article should be able to tell that this is just my overactive imagination having a good time putting together a bit of fun on a Saturday morning.
Although this post exists to make you laugh at the WOKE Brigade’s expense, it’s also about expressing how I’m sick and tired of people who ‘all of a sudden’ wake up one morning and decide they’re WOKE.
Why do you have to say you are woke? Maybe you just now think slightly different about a particular subject?
It’s just crazy how they then feel fit to self-appoint themselves to correcting the work and/or lifestyle choices of the other 7.7 billion people on the planet.
If you do identify as being WOKE and are wondering whether you should inject yourself into a situation that has nothing to do with you and is rather delicate with the potential to cause harm to others, follow the two points below and you will not go wrong.
1. Have you received a written invitation from the people involved to engage with the situation?
If the answer is No, then go about your own personal business, stay in your lane and leave the situation alone, you are not welcome to engage.
If the answer is yes, then contact the person who requested your service, find out what your scope of engagement/service agreement is and then do exactly that, just the same as all other service providers on the planet.
2. Refer to Point No1 at all times.
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