Understanding the meaning of being WOKE

Understanding the true meaning of being WOKE and the history

the joy of being woke

The history of being WOKE is now finally revealed.

Billinghurst football club supporters-1

Being WOKE has been widely misunderstood and misrepresented over the last 9 years. 

On the 18th of August 2013, an Australian cosmetic salesperson named Karen was on vacation in the seaside town of Selsey in West Sussex, England when she became the first person to wake up one morning and behave in a manner that would now be considered WOKE.   

According to a source close to Karen, she took offence at two teenage former Billinghurst Football Club supporters arguing over whether it was better to have a black or white BMW M3.  

How did Karen initiate WOKEness?

Being a Karen in full WOKE Mode

Karen informed these two inebriated individuals that their argument was very offensive and that they should never suggest that the colour of any item or being is more desired or appreciated than another.

Karen was also quick to point out that neither black nor white are actual colours, but rather shades that augment colours, and that they should do extensive research on their topics before making a fool of themselves in public.  

How did the WOKE Movement Begin?

The WOKE Arising Founders

Although Karen was never seen again after her first public outburst, her historic action has lived on for many years since.

Several coffee shop patrons witnessed this somewhat strange but monumental event.

These coffee aficionados were intrigued about how a complete stranger felt the need to publicly correct other people and comment on their lives with little to no regard for their own safety.

Within days began a movement of Wilting Offensiveness & Kick-starting Entitlement (WOKE) and this spread across Europe at an alarming rate.

The WOKE movement naturally then moved to North America and Canada where around 360 million people were available for correction.

How was WOKEness politicised?

the green party

The WOKE movement unfortunately made its way to Australia and this is where it was embraced the most and soon found its way into politics.

WOKEness was able to manifest and intensify deep within the troubled minds of politicians involved with an obscure Australian political party.

The WOKE Arising Founders (WOKE AF) are deeply disappointed that the true meaning of being WOKE has been lost over the last 9 years, and they are desperately attempting to separate being WOKE from being political.  

They actually find it offensive that any political party would seek to hijack being WOKE from them and are now seeking advice on how to prevent politicians from saying anything WOKE in public.

How can I be WOKE, what is required?

full on woke mode

According to the WOKE AF crowd, being WOKE is all about finding offence in the smallest of situations and exaggerating it to the point of probably causing emotional or spiritual harm to yourself or others.

They are disgusted to see politicians and environmental activists attempting to use being WOKE to prevent nuclear reactors being built or the burning of coal and/or natural gas for power generation.

According to the WOKE AF senior spokesperson, being WOKE has nothing to do with politics, the planet or its resources.  

Being WOKE is rather all about making sure that every publicly made comment or discussion, Movie, TV Show and news article is checked for its WOKE based correctness and modified where required.

Sources close to the WOKE AF team would like to remind people that if they would like to be WOKE, it’s as simple as walking around a shopping centre/mall and find two or more people having an emotionally charged discussion about something that could possibly be offensive.  

You then inject yourself into their discussion, escalating the drama, creating havoc, flaring tempers and making sure the problem ends up big enough for become the opening story on the 6 o’clock news.

What has gone wrong with the WOKE movement?

Woke selection criteria

It has been revealed that the senior WOKE AF people who are still alive have requested that being WOKE should be limited to upper middle class people that are partially educated and between the ages of 23 to 39.

They don’t believe that 40+ WOKE wannabes with double degrees in political science and art history are even capable of being WOKE in its purest form.

The WOKE AF elite believe that being WOKE did not begin as a joke, but it has unfortunately become one of the most prolific sources of jokes in existence, losing most, if not all, of its original meaning.

Being WOKE or ‘Being a Karen’ is not for everyone according to the WOKE AF elite and their main wish for the future is that certain types of people will stop trying as they are damaging the WOKE brand.

There are 2 very important points to be observed for WOKE trainees

Politics and Wokeness does not mix with the environment

Anyone reading this article should be able to tell that this is just my overactive imagination having a good time putting together a bit of fun on a Saturday morning. 

Although this post exists to make you laugh at the WOKE Brigade’s expense, it’s also about expressing how I’m sick and tired of people who ‘all of a sudden’ wake up one morning and decide they’re WOKE.

It’s just crazy how they then feel fit to self-appoint themselves to correcting the work and/or lifestyle choices of the other 7.6 billion people on the planet.

If you do identify as being WOKE and are wondering whether you should inject yourself into a situation that has nothing to do with you and is rather delicate with the potential to cause harm to others, follow the two points below and you will not go wrong.

1.        Have you received a written invitation from the people involved to engage with the situation?

a.    If the answer is No, then go about your own personal business, stay in your lane and leave the situation alone, you are not welcome to engage.

b.    If the answer is yes, then contact the person who requested your service, find out what your scope of engagement/service agreement is and then do exactly that, just the same as all other service providers on the planet.


2.         Refer to Point No1 at all times.

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[…] changes, is that Wokeness will be a chargeable offence under state and federal laws.   Woke comments will result in a $250 fine, and repeat offenders will be required to successfully complete a 16 week un-woking training course […]

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