Underwater Shark Watching Tours

Aus Underwater Shark Watching Tours

underwater shark watching tours 2023

All ‘swimming with sharks’ and surfing activities on Australian beaches have been made illegal following reports of over 390 surfers punching sharks on the nose. Because of these unprovoked shark attacks, the National Underwater Tourism Ombudsman (NUTO) has been forced to take strong legal action to protect sharks.

Parliament quickly approved the NUTO motion as well as the purchase of six (6) HTR Class Submarines; powered by two 10,000Hp Methane Gas fueled Phartor engines. The HTR’s will be used as underwater tour vessels to ensure shark enthusiasts can still spend time in the water with sharks, albeit in a much different way.

The purchase of the new HTR class submarines will allow Australians and visitors to continue interacting with sharks. Because sharks will not be drawn to the coastline by hundreds of thousands of swimmers eager to interact with these much-loved apex predators, the HTR Class subs will be an excellent way to ensure humans and sharks can continue to interact.

Once built, Australian Underwater Shark Watch & Interact Tours (AUS WIT) will be renting the HTR class submarines from the government and conducting the underwater shark ‘watch & interact’ tours.   There will be a substantial wait for the AUS WIT tours though as only 1 sub can be built at a time and each sub will take 7 years to complete.   Completion of all six HTR class Submarines will take 42 years to build and will cost the Australian tax payers AUD $986 billion (164 Billion each).

HTR Class Submarine Specifications & Budget.

htr class submarines

The HTR Class submarines will be the largest and most powerful ever built. They will be built in Sydney by Australian Reliable Submarine Enterprises (ARSE) and will employ 1,186 people. The construction schedule will include a standard 33% productivity flexibility to accommodate standard periods of NSW strike action. These massive submarines will be built at the Garden Island Dry Dock and will have a displacement of 73,500 tonnes, a length of 450 metres, a beam of 80 metres, and a draught of 36 metres.

The now-contentious act of parliament that will provide funds for HTR class sub construction stipulated that every component of these subs be built in Australia. It also states that all individuals involved in the construction of these subs must reside in Sydney, and that no Fly in Fly Out/Drive in Drive Out situations will be permitted. In fact, all workers on the HTR Class Submarine Construction Project must have a NSW drivers licence and an address in the Sydney metropolitan area.

This ruling caused some concern at first because most analysts predicted that Sydney would never have enough housing to accommodate all of these construction workers. This ruling was later revealed to be one of the major costs associated with the HTR Class submarine builds. With only 3% of HTR Class submarine construction workers able to afford to live in Sydney, ARSE was forced to purchase all 395 currently available homes in Sydney for AUD $2.93 billion dollars.

ARSE CFO Paul Expleeting has revealed that he is now very concerned about the Sub project collapsing before it has even begun. With 204 NSW businesses closing over the last 2 months due to unimaginably high overhead costs associated with electricity and natural gas, Mr Expleeting is now naturally concerned about constantly increasing unplanned overhead costs to be factored in for the sub project.

ARSE is now requiring 7-day payment terms from the government for any costs incurred to ensure it is financially covered.  Mr Expleeting claims that both the Federal and NSW State governments appear to lack control over Australian utilities companies and are no displaying any noticeable financial management skills.  

He added that it is fortunate for ARSE that a ‘Vote of no confidence’ clause was included in the subcontract. Apparently, if more than 50% of the sub construction cost control committee votes that they have lost faith in the Australian government’s ability to pay their invoices, they can withdraw from the deal and have all costs refunded immediately.

Mr Expleeting explained that ARSE has already spent AUD $3.3 billion in the first six weeks of the project, 6 months before the first spanner due to be swung in construction.

Is making the HTR Class Subs in NSW is a major mistake?

store closing down in NSW-1

According to mixup-polls, 93.4% of Australians opposed the decision to manufacture all of the submarines in Australia. The most frequently stated reason is that Australia has become too expensive to manufacture anything, and we should not be wasting tax payers’ money.

Only 1.08% of New South Wales residents supported the decision to build these monstrous submarines in their home state. The majority of poll respondents (98.92%) agreed that these submarines should be built in Western Australia.

The alarming amounts of overhead costs associated with doing business in NSW make it easy to understand voter reluctance to attempt to build anything of substance in NSW. By the end of July 2023, NSW is on track to become the most expensive place in the world to pay for electricity. NSW is already the most expensive place in the world to pay for natural gas (methane).

people on strike in NSW-1

A spokesperson for mixup-polls stated that due to the typical lack of strike action in WA, building these subs in WA would have cost 43% less and taken half the time.

People in NSW went on strike so frequently in 2022 that some workers became tired of going on strike and went on strike in protest of having to go on strike so frequently.

7 Star Luxury HTR Class Submarines will be a world first.

AUS Shark Watch & Interact Tours will be an underwater adventure unlike any other, and you will enjoy the world’s finest luxury. Tour participants will naturally be interested in being able to observe sharks going about their daily business in their natural environment through the massive Australian-designed submarine glass windows that can withstand pressures experienced as deep as 1,400 metres.

According to Mal Hasbean, acting General Manager of AUS WIT, although his company is definitely looking forward to be able to conduct tours via such large vessels, building these submarines in NSW is a definitely a mistake.   He revealed that they could have been built just about anywhere else in the world for a third of the cost.   He feels that this sub project is a last ditch effort by the Federal and NSW governments to demonstrate that you can actually build something once in a while in Australia, especially given the country’s inability to cost effectively manufacture motor vehicles in the modern era.

Southern Island Nations Underwater Services (SINUS) has announced that they will assist ARSE in building the HTR Class submarines.   However, as there is now zero available accommodation in Sydney, they are requesting land be released to them to build a 700-room low-cost hotel to house their workers.

Sir Porsehead Fadley, CEO of SINUS and a well-known former taxi driver who is also a non executive director of the Construction Related Australian Producers (CRAP), has declared that the decision to manufacture the subs in NSW is disastrous.

He stated that if any of the sub construction workers are required to drive on the astronomically priced NSW toll roads, the government must reimburse them for all of their expenses. He also stated that because the tunnels are constantly closed off due to height sensors tripping, sub workers may be unable to get to work.   He added that although it’s possible that they could take the train to work, there is one major problem with that option and that is that train drivers in NSW are typically on strike more than they are actually at work.

Why were surfers punching Sharks in the first place?

sharks and surfers fighting

Initially, lawyers for the Professional International Surfers Society (PISS) attempted to persuade the NUTO that surfers were upset that sharks were now legally permitted to eat any animal or mammal that chose to swim in the oceans, including humans.

The PISS lawyers claimed that humans should not have been allowed as a permitted dietary option on the Meat Eating Shark Solution (MESS), and that this was now endangering the lives of all Australian surfers and swimmers.

However, NUTO investigators revealed that this was not the case. The underlying factor was that card-carrying PISS members were actually very wealthy surfers with significant beachside investment properties along the Australian coastline.

Since the very significant MESS was authorized, renters of multimillion dollar beachfront properties have cancelled their $25,000 per week leases because swimming with sharks is now illegal.

Real estate agents unsuccessfully attempted to sue renters for breach of contract, claiming that they could still enjoy beachside living by taking nice long walks along the beach at night and gazing out at the ocean. A spokesperson for senior Magistrate ‘Yu Betchyaar’ stated that there is only one reason anyone would pay $25,000 per week (or more) to live in an 18-bed, 10-bath villa less than 200 metres from the beach, and that is to go swimming with the sharks.

As it turns out, the whole point of surfers punching sharks on their extremely sensitive noses was to make money. With thousands of beachside villas unable to be rented or sold, surfers and real estate agents completely dependent on commissions are now forced to sell everything they owned and relocate to Queensland like the other 55,000 people did in 2022.

Concerns over HTR Class Subs being caught in super trawler nets

if we stop eating fish then we can eliminate super trawlers - protect the environment

According to Harry Holtsy, CEO of the Plastics Out Of Oceans Observatory (POOO) in Pyrmont, NSW, there are now over 17,000 active Super Trawling Vessels scouring the oceans with nets big enough to fit a dozen A380 planes. With each Sub costing AUD $168 billion, the Australian government should expand their Exclusive Economic Zone to 400 nautical miles to ensure no Subs are damaged unnecessarily.

Legal action to stop AUS WIT and construction of the HTR class submarines

shark fin soup

 Hundreds of Restaurants & Catering companies have pooled together substantial funds to fight the construction of the HTR Class subs and prevent the Australian underwater shark watch & interact tours.  

This consortium has stated that if AUS WIT conducts their planned tours on HTR class submarines, it will allow unauthorized viewing of sacred Shark Fin removal ceremonies.   These ceremonies are performed to honour the sacrifices that Sharks must endure to enable creation of Shark Fin Soup.

Shark Fin soup has many wonderful uses such as meals for weddings and banquets in China, Taiwan, and Southeast Asia and it is also a well known cure for tennis elbow.

With 1,000 people expected to travel in the HTR class submarines on each tour, it is almost certain that many onlookers will end up filming the highly ceremonial practice of removing shark fins and uploading the footage to social media around the world.

Ima Karen, a senior spokesperson for the consortium, claims that shark fins are only removed by highly trained Shark Fin Extraction and Retrieval Specialists (SFERS).

She went on to say that, while it is unfortunate that removing the shark’s fin does result in the end of their life cycle, there is nothing that can be done about it.

She says that we should not forget that millions people rely on Shark Fin Soup to help them deal with the very unpleasant medical condition known as tennis elbow.

She was also concerned that if the entire world found out how shark fin soup was made, it would jeopardize their ability to feed people at weddings.

Refueling the HTR class submarines will only happen in Western Australia.

refueling HTR class submarines with natural gas-1

Although certainly an inconvenience, refueling of monstrous HTR Class submarines will only take place at one of the 5 dedicated refueling stations in Western Australia.

Methane gas costs in Western Australia are the cheapest in the world, so it’s no surprise that these behemoths of the oceans will only be refueled in WA.

Locking in the deal to refuel the HTR class subs in WA is due to bring in an additional 400 Million dollars to WA each year in Tourism.   Tourists will flock to Western Australia in the thousands to witness the magnificence of these submarines whilst they are refueling at the specially designed refueling facilities.

Whilst docked for refueling, sub tours will take place twice daily at the cost of $60 per adult, $30 child under 13 or $100 per family.

Book your Aus Underwater Shark Watch & Interact Tour.

book your Australian underwater shark watch and interact tour

To make early bookings today, email the general manger of shark tour operations for Australasia, Flony Albandfeesy via eachwayflony@auswittours

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Margaret
Margaret
6 months ago

I love the bit about methane powered phartor engines, that was very witty.

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