Our history With Left & Right Chicken Wings
Chickens first appeared on Earth as prized pets of Atlantean visitors who arrived on our planet 180,000 years ago.
Atlantean chickens, then known as Foulus Chookus, were always taken on intergalactic missions due to the magical strategy development powers associated with eating their wings. Atlantean rulers adorned chickens with jewels and fed them a special diet that was thought to keep their powers at peak levels.
The climate on Earth was found to be favorable for the Atlantean visitors, so they decided to stay. As a result, these Atlantean colonists founded a small civilization on a beautiful island 45 kilometers east of the Queens sacred land town of Yep-Soon, the country of Oz.
The Atlanteans named their island paradise Atlantis and hid their ship at the bottom of an inland lake to conceal the nature of their true origin. The Atlantean craft was untouched at the bottom of this lake for 170,000 years.
Unfortunately, a problem with two of their power cells developed 10,000 years ago but went undetected. These cells overheated so badly that the heat caused a chain reaction within their warp drive, resulting in flash vaporization event.
A 5 km wide area was affected, and the island of Atlantis vanished in a fraction of a second.
100 Chickens survived the Atlantis disaster.
15 years before the Atlantis disaster, 100 chickens were transported to the main island, which they named Oz. At the time, Atlantean scientists were curious to see if Chickens could survive on the mainland without assistance.
They were also curious if they could keep their mystical strategy development powers within their wings if they weren’t fed the special Atlantean diet they were used to.
Fortunately, chickens thrived and multiplied rapidly in the Land of Oz.
The Magical Powers of Left Chicken Wings.
Humans eventually discovered that consuming the left wing of a healthy chicken gave them strategy direction powers in a way that is now known as politically socialist. When human leaders began to eat left chicken wings, they began to provide quality public services in all aspects of government, spending significant funds on education, healthcare, public housing, and transportation.
When guided by Left Chicken Wing powers, politically socialist human leaders did not want only a few humans to have all of the wealth; they wanted all of the wealth to be distributed evenly among those who worked hard all day to sustain the economy.
Many people admired the behaviour of left wing eating political leaders, so they formed a worshipping party known as the Left Wing Policy.
Humans loved the effects of eating the left chicken wings so much that they dared not eat the right wings for fear of losing the sensation that we now know as Socialist Utopia. This remained true until Earth’s year 1979.
The Magical Powers of Right Chicken Wings.
In the second month of Earth’s Year 1979, a 20 year old male Human named John was the first to begin eating a chicken’s right wing. John was the political leader of the Earlwood Clan in Oz.
The magical powers of the right chicken wing transformed John. He imagined something completely different than what he was used to when eating the left wings. He began to imagine a world in which people who were smarter and worked harder than others could become extremely wealthy.
He began to realize that the government should not interfere with the economy and wealth of their towns and cities Individuals should be free to create as much wealth as they want with little government interference.
John also envisioned the government doing everything possible to promote business prosperity. He could see that as businesses became healthier and wealthier, they hired more people. There would be no need for poor people because everyone would be employed, there would be no homeless people, and no one would go hungry.
John had visions of being tough on law and order as well. His mind was racing with ideas for how to create an incredibly powerful driving force behind the rules. Anyone who does not follow the rules will live to regret their actions.
He could see that by establishing a strong framework and then being fully prepared to enforce it, the government would be able to intervene less in society. However, if they do, it is best to be on the right side of the situation.
John would tell his friend Peter, who was also his financial adviser, about the secrets that would be revealed by eating the right chicken wing.
Peter was equally blown away by the strategic abilities that came from eating the right chicken wing.
John and Peter became very excited about their futures, as well as a new future for the Land of Oz, and thus co-founded the Right Wing Prosperity Clan.
John and Peter would rule the entire country of Oz until Earth year 2007. John, in particular, was adored by the people of Oz, and both are still regarded as great leaders.
Most Ozzies believe that the 11 years that John ruled their country were the most important in their country’s history.
Chicken DNA was altered by an Evil Green Wizard.
In 1992, Bob, a successful green grocer, was the lead singer in a band called ‘The Greens.’ The Greens were a reggae and calypso band that toured the land of Oz for many years but had little success.
None of the band members desired traditional jobs; they enjoyed travelling and the freedom that came with being in a band. They played in pubs, clubs, and political parties for years, but they were ignored and eventually ran out of money.
The band members were facing starvation in Earth year 2008 and needed assistance. Bob, the band’s leader, sought assistance from a green wizard because he did not want his friends to perish. Bob had no idea the green wizard was so evil.
The green wizard promised Bob that he could provide him and his friends with increased popularity and wealth; he also said he would crush any of their enemies. In return, the green wizard said that there would be a day where he would appear before the members of the band or their descendants and would require them to serve at his pleasure.
Bob was terrified, tired, hungry, and cold, and he was worried he might not survive for much longer, so he agreed to all of the terms outlined by the green wizard.
Bob had no idea what the Evil Green Wizard would do to change their lives. The green wizard noticed that the majority of human behaviour was determined by which chicken wing they ate (Left or Right). The wizard was able to dilute the intensity of the chickens’ mystical powers contained within their wings, as well as alter their DNA.
During the Earth year 2019, Chicken DNA was altered, which had disastrous consequences. Humans who consumed either the left or right chicken wing felt a pleasant euphoria and relaxed sensation that compelled them to travel out into the country areas of Oz and lie down in a lush green field full of brightly coloured flowers.
Most people affected by chicken wings soon stopped working and began buying Volkswagen Vans, wearing hemp-based clothing, and could only ever think about driving out to country fields to sleep during the typical working day.
The Evil Green Wizard almost destroyed the land of Oz.
With nobody working in Oz, power stations stopped working and all manufacturing came to an end. There was no natural gas for winter heating and thousands died as a result.
Humans in Oz were unable to comprehend what was going on; all they wanted to do was drive out into the country fields and sleep.
The Oz society was rapidly failing, there was no money to be had, and most countries in the world that were observing what was going on feared the worst.
Then, in 2023 a new lady Sherriff rode into town
With Oz on the verge of destruction in the year 2023, a ray of hope was discovered.
As it would turn out, nobody knew about one place in Oz that was immune to the Evil Green Wizard’s spell on chickens.
A force-field surrounded the town of Witchproof in the Vic shire. The force-field generators were ancient Atlantean technology that washed up on the coast of Oz in 1970.
Some 40 years later, a storyteller named Peta figured out how to use the force-field generator and was able to protect her town before the wizard cast his spell in 2019.
Peta loved eating the right wing of chickens and how that made her feel. Fortunately for Peta and many others, the town of Witchproof had thousands of full strength unaffected chickens.
Peta was appointed Sheriff of Witchproof in 2016 and was content with her life of service to her community. However, Peta found it difficult to sit back and watch the rest of Oz perish while her life in her prosperous and happy town was perfect.
Peta was overcome with a deep sense of national pride in Earth year 2023, on the 3rd of April, when she announced to the world over radio airwaves that there is hope and she had a plan to help Oz-based humans.
Hundreds of thousands of Ozzies immediately began discussing Sherriff Peta and her wise words. Within 48 hours of hearing Sherriff Peta’s speech, a new political party was formed in Oz, with Sherriff Peta as their leader.
This new political party was established as ‘The Liberal Thinking Party’.